Dick Figures Show 2
Summary Wolf and Red have their second TV show with Pink. Transcript (The camera opens up on the set as the title of the show appears as the theme song plays while people applaud) Wolf: Welcome back for more interviews, games, and crazy action. Red: Tonight we have a new guest. Wolf: She's feminine. Red: She's got boobs. Wolf: and she hates you with a passion. (chuckles) Red: but she knows I'm hot. Wolf: give it up for Pink! (Pink comes in angry but is suddenly surprised by the crowd and the recording cameras) Pink: What the hell? I thought we were going to talk about what you did last time! Wolf: Well let's talk with a waiting audience. Red: Sit down. (shoves a chair behind her making her sit) Wolf: Now Pink let's begin with a little interview. (Pink grumbles as she sits back) Red: a lot of people would say Stacy is hotter than you but others say otherwise. Pink: I am guessing you are on the side with Stacy? Red: hell yeah. Wolf: what would be your say on this? Pink: Well men like this asshole... Red: guilty as charged. Pink: only think with their dicks rather than see true beauty from inside like a girl's personality. Red: Personality? Ha! what's that? Pink: (Glares) Blue is different and sees me more than eye candy or a piece of meat. Wolf: well there were a few flaws in you before. Pink: Excuse me!? Wolf: but that was before I took you on that trip through the wilds of the mountain range remember? Pink: Oh, well I guess that is true. Red: did you guys fuck up there? Pink: Fuck you! Red: Hey you two were alone from sight right? Blue: (at home watching) What? Please say you didn't. Wolf I will kill you if you did. Wolf: Red, If I did fuck her do you think she would be alive right now? Red: Oh yeah that's right. Blue: Why didn't I think of that? Wolf: What do you do at home? did you become the homemaker or do you have a job still. Pink: well of course I am a homemaker. I have three kids. Wolf: you have been busy with Mr. ding dong and Blue haven't you? (Laughs) Red: guess you can count that as a threesome. Pink: (facepalms) Dear God. Wolf: is it true you had the hots for James Bauer when you first met him? Blue: Oh come on! Pink: (blushes) well he was very charming and handsome, but Blue is my husband. Red: Pink and James sitting in a tree. F.U.C.K.I.N... (Gets smashed by Pink's chair that she threw at him) Pink: Shut up Red! Wolf: you got to love the feisty ones. Red: (in pain) I'll settle for the horny ones Wolf: Moving on. It's time to put you game face on for... Pink: I am not going to do that extreme dodgeball! Wolf: pfft. I wasn't even thinking anything close to that. Pink: Oh then what are you... Red: Bear Arm Wrestling! Pink: WHAT?! Wolf: (brings out a huge grizzly bear) Don't worry he's trained not to maul you. Pink: Promise? Wolf: what do you take me for Pink? What have you ever done to me to take that kind of revenge on you? Pink: But... Red: don't worry this round the world champ will go easy on you. Pink it's done this before!? (The bear make a slit across the throat sign at Pink) Pink: Oh dear god. I'm out of... (a cage falls down trapping Pink and the bear) RED YOU ASSHOLE!!! Red: Let the slaughter begin! (The Bear points to the table for Pink to begin the match. Pink nervously gets into position for the arm wrestle to begin) Red: Count down with me! Crowd: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... GO!!! (The Bear then gets thrown from the table by Pink who was in shock after seeing herself make an epic victory against the bear) Red: WHAT?! Pink: I did it! I don't know how but I did it! Backflash (earlier before that match was about to begin, it shows the bear look up to a dark corner of the room and shows Wolf with a stuffed toy bear and rip it's head off while smiling sadistically at the bear to make it let Pink win) Present Red: I can't believe she won. Now I lost my bet. Wolf: Well you win some you lose some. (chuckles) Now let's see what she has won! Broseph: You get this golden air pumped shotgun that shoots out explosive shells. Pink: What would I do with this? Wolf: You'll think of something I'm sure. Broseph: (puts an arm around Pink) How about I show you how to use this gun. Pink: (head shoots Broseph) I think I'll keep it. Wolf: next on we have a caller from your old friend Stacy. Pink: (Picks up the phone) Stacy? Stacy: Hey Pink. Big time celebraty huh? Pink: I'm just on a simple show. Stacy: Hollywood huh? awesome. Pink: (sighs) Is there something you wanted? Stacy: Oh yeah I can't find the remote for the TV again. Pink: is it the black object you mistook for a vibrator again? Stacy: Oh yeah! I thought it felt funny when I used it. thanks girlfriend. Peace. (hangs up) Red: Now we got a caller from Mr. Dingleberry. Pink: Hmm. Mr. Dingleberry: You're late for your rent! Pink: (groans) for the last time I moved out to a house. Mr. Dingleberry: Oh yeah when was that? Pink: years ago. goodbye. (hangs up) Mr Dingleberry: (still on the phone) eh, where am I? Wolf: here is the last caller of the day. an anonymous caller. Pink: (Groans and picks up the phone) Yes? Red: Hey boobs. guess who it is? Pink: An asshole. (glares across the room at Red) Red: (talking on his cell phone) No it's Red the awesome guy. fooled you didn't I? (Pink Growls and hangs up) Red: Hey! I can't believe the bitch hung up on me! Pink: I'm right here you dumbass! Wolf: well that's all the time we have for tonight. but before we go we will send Pink home with a parting gift. Pink: I swear if it's something stupid... Wolf: you get a brand new taser machine gun! holds over thirty self charging electric darts in each clip you can carry in your pocket or purse. It's features also includes a shock charge remote to either decrease or increase the voltage of the darts. PInk: Oh, wow thanks guys. (Holds it) Red: And also a year supply of honey! (pulls a rope and Pink is covered in a splash of honey) Wolf: Wait that wasn't in the script. Pink: What the hell Red! (hears something sniffing behind her and sees the arm wrestling bear) HOLY SHIT! AHHHH! (runs around the studio getting chased by the bear) Wolf: well that's all for tonight! Red: See you next time. (the theme song plays as Wolf and Red do a dance before Red gets shot by the taser gun Pink got) END Category:Episodes